22/06/2018

You see friends, as i write this it is a testimony of myself so i still feel am one of the qualified people to write about pride because am a proud person.😄

You see sometimes when I’m sitting in a sermon or studying a passage, it’s pride that prompts the terrible temptation to skip the Spirit’s surgery on my own heart and instead draft a blog post(like this one) or plan a potential conversation for the people who “really need to hear this.” Like now friends, look at me here thinking that i really know what pride is and writing it to us to read: proud me indeed!

Other times i feel no confidence before God. Recently i was going through a difficult time and i knelt down and told God that i cannot feel Him anymore, which sounds like humility or as i thought being honest before God, but in reality it’s another symptom of pride because i kind of had lost my confidence in Him and even His presence in my life. Other times i have done something that i want to believe i cannot come out of, i cannot even believe He will hear my prayers because of how sinful i am, you with me? In those moments, we’re testifying that we believe our sins are greater than His grace. You know i easily get stuck at staring at myself and the things that i have done and doubt if God is really walking with me, i doubt His power.

On other instances: recently one of my friends did something i did not expect(Sin), i was so disappointed, like honestly ‘how could he do that?’ You see my sickness of pride speaks of others sins with irritation, frustration and judgement. One of my mentors told me recently my orientation has made me to have very high expectations on people and especially people who are my fellow brethren in Faith, i have a put a bar on how they should walk and i get very disappointed when one of them behaves opposite, i feel they are really misrepresenting Christ and i may start to completely disregard whatever they say from there on, you see that kind of person that believes that your Faith should match your every detail of action(mark the word detail- including your jokes, words and even how you respond to very minor issues)? So i have often found myself really frustrated with people in my course of ministry, you see all of us are, sometimes brothers and fellow sisters fail us, they fail Christ and we are really frustrated and in Judgement we discredit the Calvary work of mercy on them! Pride causes us to filter out God’s mercy in others.

So i am honestly writing this piece to my prideful self and the rest of us who can relate with me.

Spiritual pride will ‘kill’ us. spiritual pride is common among people who are really zealous for Christ.

Jonathan Edwards said pride is “the most hidden, secret, and deceitful of all sins.”.

I think pride is just not a sin, it is also a sin mother!, it specializes in giving birth to more sins.

When you get late for a meeting and you are just too proud to admit your mistake, because you want to create a good impression of yourself you lie about the traffic, you know you never get that late but it is because you are just a very busy person and so on. So pride prompts you to lie and then you get used to it. There are people who can never give an apology for coming late, but they always will have an excuse-very intensive explanations just avoiding one word- am sorry!

Some of us will prefer to remain quiet when people are discussing something and then they are just feeling too humble to be true! hehe, they actually wonder how a certain person in a group talks endlessly; i was there once, i seriously had problems with super sanguines, i would wonder why they cannot keep quiet in a meeting or do they think they are the ones who have points hehe before God rebuked my prideful self, i was quiet physically but i was very noisy in my mind because i was really criticizing all the ones talking.

Pride causes harshness, with the frustration we look at other people’s sins we are less concerned about their struggles and showing kindness to them.

When pride lives in our hearts, we’re more concerned with others’ perceptions of us than the reality of our hearts. We fight the sins that have an impact on how others view us, and make peace with the ones that no one sees. We have great success in the areas of holiness that have highly visible accountability, but little concern for the disciplines that happen in secret.

Pride is hungry for attention, respect, and worship. Recently i had a beautiful walk through the book of Esther and honestly i kept wondering how Haman would convince the King to issue a decree for the death of all Jews simply because Modeccai failed to greet him at the gate as he ought to have been greeted, but honestly sometimes we find ourselves like Haman, so just before you start critiquing him like i was, think of the many times you have wanted to cause a scene only because someone failed to greet you or you think they ought to have greeted you in a better way. Hehe honestly just because someone failed to say hello to us we really feel disrespected! I have been there too, is the issue just the greeting? Please note that i am not trying to justify wrong actions from people but mostly we react that way because we feel they are not giving us the attention we deserve. It is good to evaluate whether the complains against such attitudes is because we want to be given some attention or we are honestly concerned about why the other party is behaving as they are so that we can enhance good relationships in the body of Christ. So we are not like ” imagine nilimsalimia hajasalimika ama akanisalimia na madharau, ata sitamsalimia siku ingine.’

I have also had some people do things and they have not involved me, “juu by the way mnaezaje kosa kuniambia? ama wangeniambia ningewaambia tu haitaenda through, nilijua tu” you know that time you are feeling if you were involved in something it would have been done better than when you were not informed.

On some other statements like “My life, my rules” “my dress my choice” Very common in our generation. Everything is just about your-SELF and we feel unapologetic to say that. Mh!

Have also been in situations where am honestly feeling i have some advantages over other people- for real, have been through ministry and i have had intense opportunities to grow, or am in a better working environment, better church, from a better family, or the exposure i have received has really made me such a better lady, i am more beautiful, better relationships that i have, i know scripture more and so on and i really SELF-promote my-SELF. So i feel BETTER- really without attaching it all to the only one who should receive all the Glory for all the things He has allowed me to have.

“But pride can shift into the shape of self-degradation and self-demotion when we beat ourselves up for our failures. We are still obsessed with ourselves. We are obsessed with our failures” – by John Piper. Huh! This got us, coz honestly i know when reading this you really are thinking only those people who commend themselves highly are proud but when you are always a critic of yourself and unhappy about yourself, you are too obsessed with your-SELF you are the only thing you think about, that is why you wallow into a low SELF-esteem, you see, its still about your-SELF!

Pride is self-obsession; pride is preoccupation with ourselves. It says “I am worth thinking about all the time.”

Pride is the sin most likely to keep you from crying out for a Savior. Those who think they are well will not look for a doctor. As seriously dangerous as pride is, it’s equally hard to spot. You see as i write this am honestly in that state am feeling i have been more proud that i thought and most of the sins i have committed just come from it, i truly need Jesus! but i have good news- i can confess to Him and ask Him to rebuke my pride.

God opposes pride actively and hates it passionately, which means that pride is spiritual suicide. The reason is simple. Pride is on a collision course with God himself and the date is set. “For the Lord of hosts has a day against all that is proud and lofty, against all that is lifted up and it shall be brought low” (Isaiah 2:12).

Seeing the cross rightly crushes our pride decisively. Why? Seeing the cross rightly means that we see ourselves rightly. We see him on the cross and conclude that we are actually seeing our sin on the cross.

Humility clears the eye to look at things as they truly are. it puts us on the path of grace, Humility can set you free because when you think about yourself less you are free to think about Christ more. I pray i will learn to be like David and can decree that even on my bed and in the watches of the night i just think of you God! When i am down, i see Jesus, when i am happy and have achieved it, i see Jesus, when hurt and burdens of this world put me down, may i just see Christ, When am awarded as the best employee i still see Him, i can see people through His eyes so that i will not disregard them for their sins, In every thing i just see Him, i think of Him more. Humility is not to think less of myself, but to think of myself less, to think of SELF less i must constantly think of Him.

“Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting! (Psalm 139:23–24)”

So help me God,

Mutheu.

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