So yesterday i was in such a rush to get to the office, one reason being it was on a Monday, and i had this email i had to sent for action by 8:00a.m. So honestly this are just some of the days i tell myself that i can handle anything else besides traffic in the morning but hey, i get into this matatu and first we have to wait for it to be full, i impatiently sit there just anticipating that if i see another matatu and i will just jump out of this empty one, but apparently that one was the only matatu available. Finally the matatu left and them boom! Traffic! we then got to a zone we were just not moving even an inch, my friends in Nairobi can easily relate. You know at those times we start discussing in the matatu and we say that life would be better out of Nairobi(just because of traffic). On many instances like this one i have noted the difference between when i switch on my audio bible or read a book as a way to use that time on traffic and when i decide to frustrate myself and use that time to feel sorry for myself- here i start imagining how life would be much easier if i moved to some desolate place with less competition on the roads. (By God’s grace i still managed to do everything that i was to do without fail)
So i have just been evaluating how i manage traffic in different circumstances and i am working on the second reaction to the situation which is just easy to put in one word- Impatience! If i were to rank my least favourite things am pretty sure waiting would rank in the top five. I don’t always enjoy standing on the queue in the bank to be served, i always wish every time that they can improve their systems and so-on. We can all agree that waiting is not the most exciting time of our lives.
In our generation:- the ‘microwave generation’, we are so impatient, no matter how things have been made easy for us we still wish they were faster. I still struggle to wait for a minute to end when i have something in the microwave, i still feel the minute is just taking too long. And just like that waiting has become such a hard task in our generation. But too bad we have to wait for so many things: for a dream job, for a baby,for a husband/wife, for a friend, for meetings, for God to heal a particular disease, for a car, for a promotion at work place etc… We often wish God operated on our timetable, because we feel He is also very slow.
The testimony of my life: God has in many situations made me wait, and sometimes back i did not enjoy this seasons of waiting but at the end of it all God has surprised me with what i did not even deserve! But i have not always loved those times He says… “my daughter, wait”. But He keeps doing it even amidst my grumbling and i have picked worthwhile lessons from my periods of waiting;
- Waiting addresses my heart-issues.
What i am not able to see through times of abundance becomes the red hot potato in my hands during waiting. Uncountable times God has pointed to me my anger, bitterness, frustrations and irritations to Him and others when i do not get what i want on time. It is in my waiting season that God has rebuked some of my terrible heart issues and has taught me how to work on them. At last i get to receive not only what i had asked for but on top of it- a gracious spirit, patient heart, a grateful spirit and a humble spirit. Through waiting God has graciously worked on me and i am not the same person i was before. You see it’s only that time i do not have what i want i ‘yell’ at God in anger and He rebukes my pride and bitterness, so i am broken to humility and He helps me to season my words even in turbulent times, if He had not allowed me to wait i would not have noticed that i have dangerous weeds that need pruning. May the Lord be praised for this! I look back in Joy
- Waiting creates a deeper dependence on God. It is my moment of waiting that i pray and talk to God more, it is in such times that i have noticed how i really need Him and i have grown to know Him better. It is my waiting seasons that i have trusted on God more and my faith has grown.
- Waiting changes my prayers and vision.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve wanted a lesser gift from God. I have asked God for very small things and He has made me wait, so in the process He takes away all the small things i was asking for and helped me notice that i really did not need that. In my waiting my vision often adjusts, and rather than asking for a lesser thing, what comes to light is my need for a greater thing. God has always shocked me by gifting me what at first i thought i could not have and caused me to expand, only then i notice that God has corrected me for dreaming too small and revealing to me the great plans He has for my life.
- Waiting has expanded me in ministry. My seasons of waiting have in the end become a testimony. I always marvel at how i have been able to reach out to the needs of others through my experiences of waiting and the desire to help and understand people better. Sometimes God wants to use our seasons to minister to others in due time. He wants us to extend the same comfort to someone else in their waiting season.
- Waiting prepares my heart today for the abundance coming tomorrow.
It’s in the waiting that God does His preparing for the gifts, goodness and greatness He will bring tomorrow. As we wait, impurities fall, so when we get what we asked for, we receive with humility.
For God’s Children, Urgency is a lie! Many times we want everything to happen now or as we had planned; Idolatry is sneaky, sometimes we do not notice we have already made our demands our idols and we think that God should operate in our speed or even perhaps faster. Speed is not always an advantage! Sometimes its a terrible disadvantage and we later wish we waited.
And so as i grow am learning that God’s will for me when He makes me wait is to grow me and not torture, it is to mold me and not to destroy me, it is to draw me closer to Him and not to push me away, it is to prepare me for what He has planned for me and not to give me something am not ready to receive or deserve.
And so i am so grateful for God who has made me wait! God has always restored me back to Himself, He has in the process worked on my character and i can’t help loving Him more every time. God has a record of keeping promises! He is a Faithful promise-keeper. We just need to change our response to the seasons of waiting and when He asks us to wait we need to just trust Him because it is always for something much bigger than what we deserve.
If this is it, then I am not done waiting! I will not try to ‘sought myself out’, i will not compare my seasons with another person’s because i know God is doing something specifically and special just for me, i will choose not to lament over my waiting seasons, i will seek God more and learn Him better when He asks me to wait. So grace me Lord. Amen!