This is a testimony of a personal experience….
Thursday 2nd Feb, 2017 was perhaps a day that should go to record… the previous day started in a working mood, or should I call it a talking mood (ministry manenos), to me who genuinely enjoys the company of students I was too engaged talking, laughing and sharing(it could be the word, or better still food) The principle of Fun, Food and Fellowship. My phone was unusually busy but one call completely changed my mood. Mommy calls are never hard to contemplate about, whenever I see ‘mom calling’ I feel loved, look for somewhere comfortable, excuse myself for a few minutes if I had company and pick to start the giggling. Mungu akubariki Mama. On this day she wanted to inform me of a not-so-good occurrence, my brother had an accident in school and she was now taking her to the hospital. I felt easy, said a little prayer and joined my company back in ‘my sitting room’, but wait it was not just that, not the normal ‘accidents’, it was a serious dislocation of muscles and joints at his back, why? –the explanation was unimaginable- Bullying. I still don’t get it, at this era that bullying in high schools still existed… not just that, it existed to a point I strongly feel the ‘criminal’ wanted my brother dead, why would you for no reasons squeeze a tiny boy until you completely disconnect his back muscles? Anyway as I write this, my family has decided to forgive the culprits and wish them a change of attitude.
The strength God gave me allowed me to dress up on Thursday morning to Meru, then I called my beloved brother to just hear how he was feeling, and he told me in a voice that I don’t want to remember, “Aki siz I am in pain…” I connected the voice to the person in my imaginations, the small body, the pain- the not being able to walk (a thought of whether he will walk stably again rang in my mind loudly), the people carrying him every day… and I thought about the brother I had, the one who was energetic, carrying all my bags, being send to all errands that distances couldn’t allow the ladies of the house to go… tears flowed, they flowed so easily that I never felt them. Questions buzzed but answers not given. I thank God for team mates, I thank God for friends, phones rang, but this time round not picked. But more importantly God was right in the situation, I felt showers of peace and soothing hands engulf me more than ever before, the words in Isaiah 35:4 sprang that do not fear, I will help you… I felt God ministering to my heart that all is going to be okay, my brother will walk again normally, yes I kicked out fear… fear can paralyze, it cripples and frustrates… fear is like a prison of the heart and trusting God in hard times requires refusing to be frightened, refusing to be immobilized and refusing to Panic. The only thing we have to fear is fear itself! That was my decision. Tears flowed but this times the tears of the assurance of Gods faithfulness, I believed! I prayed, my friends prayed, God assured me that it is well.
Friday was normal; the assurance was in my mind, whenever fear struck, I send victory and faith. My brother tried standing, he managed! Glory be to God… he was still in pain but that’s not the story, the story is that he managed to stand. On Saturday I now go with him for physiotherapy and I witnessed those doctors do their work, he screams in pain, my heart sank, I looked at my other brother, his eyes full of tears, I decided not to look at mama, my eyes grew wet, the doctors faces looked sad- they wished a better method could be used, but that was the simplest way to save him to walk again soon. God spoke to me again, that “even in the fire I am walking right beside you,” and yes I felt Him, this time round no tear flow, I had to look at my small brother with that promise that all is well brother, God is right here… Jesus, who walks on the waters, who speaks to the sea, who stands in the fire besides me, yes Jesus, he carries healing in His hands! The thought of him lying there for the next five days going through the same process every day is not as easy, the report on doctors that he will be in the same condition for four months is not easy to bear but my faith is built on nothing less, I trust the Ever living one, His report is the best, 4 months is just a number…
God does not promise us a journey without pain, but he promises us that even in pain he is right there with us, hard times necessitate us to trust the Lord, so whatever happens refuse to fear. God is God and HE is able.
Amazing God. God is God even in pain.