Remembering some memories: So on this particular day i was going on with my activities(they may not have been usual), but atleast i was feeling extremely peaceful about the day until someone insulted someone who is very dear to me, the person had always posed themselves as a “rival” for a while and i decided to allow them to fight with the wind all through, i kinda enjoyed how they kept exchanging blows with the wind for a long time. I thought i had succeeded till that very day. I first ignored the insult but when i took time to think about it, the way they had described them was just painful, with their body shapes and what they use and so-on, the same person went ahead to describe my other three significant persons in life in complete onslaught. At this time, went public, on facebook to capture my attention, at this time i read everything in silence, and i took time to take all the insults to heart and i felt anger blowing up in me till i could not contain it any longer, bitter tears flowed. I felt i needed some vindication, i felt the people i loved needed me to defend them somehow. In normal terms i just wanted to give the person a piece of my mind! But truly, i had no piece to give at that time. I felt like i needed to pray but my frustration would only cause me to pray the psalms of vindication only, at that point i felt really special and i was wondering why God would not allow me to deal with that person either physically or emotionally whichever way that would cause them more damage!For me physically sounded better at the moment. Actually i thought i should file a case and sue them, i just had every thought in mind on how i could possibly avenge myself. In a few minutes still trying to figure how to deal with this one, i received another disturbing message, i felt used, unappreciated and i did not actually deserve it, i wanted to just do something or say something, but i restrained myself in silence, i restrained replying to anything at the moment, but it was a real struggle. But then as i slept that night a still small voice whispered to me, “You are bitter child.”
Have you ever had those moments as a christian when you feel you are so boiled up, you feel you should do something or say something, when you know its actually not right, whatever you are contemplating at the moment, you know very well,it would be sinful but you just can’t wait to do it. That is what bitterness can make us-Sin!
It’s no accident that God uses the image of a weed to describe some particular sins that have a way of creeping into all of our hearts. Personally i’d think bitterness is one of them. Bitterness isn’t one of those big, flashy sins that you can see growing above the surface of our hearts. It may not show off like sexual immorality or disobedience, its like a weed, it just keeps creeping up, on one instance to the other, it keeps maturing.
In Hebrews 12:14-15, its clear that bitter root will one day sprout, and when it does, “many will become corrupted.” In other words, if that bitter root keeps growing, there will be a harvest of pain for you. And because bitterness is a weedy sin that burrows in our hearts first, we can’t just cut off the behaviors that bitterness causes. We need the Lord’s help to yank that baby up by the root. We need it chopped out right from the root.
Ephesians 4:31 -Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behaviour.
Paul is describing a cluster of emotions here that come along with bitterness. I know from experience that bitterness almost always travels in a nasty pack. When bitterness is taking root in my heart, usually wrath is, too. The same goes for anger, slander, and malice. If we don’t deal with bitterness, that bitterness will progress toward extreme anger.
If we do not manage to deal with it, we will start to talk bad about the object of our bitterness in the hopes of recruiting others to agree with and justify our feelings (that’s slander).
If that goes unchecked, we will eventually have a desire to cause harm to the person we are bitter toward.
All along the way, people are hurt, relationships are derailed, joy is stolen, and growth of the fruit of the Spirit is stunted.
With so much on the line, i honestly think its wise to ask ourselves often, “Am I bitter?”, Do i find myself replaying some old versions of things i have done for someone in the past and they just cannot see it?, do i keep remembering conversations i have listened to before and i did not feel good about them? Do i trace back to history of how i feel disturbed over some issues we have always gone through because of someone? Am i bitter?
I have also learned that bitterness flourishes in the soil of justification. Everytime i share about someone i am trying to feel justified, i am actually excusing myself for anything that i would do that is not right, because i need to somehow avenge myself. I try to get an excuse for my harsh words, thoughts are even worse.
I am also learning that at the point of bitterness my mouth is often out of control. Romans 3:14 says, “Their mouth is full of curses and bitterness.”
There is a connection between the junk that comes out of our mouths and the bitterness that tends to take root in our hearts. Am I critical, snappy, rude? Maybe the sins we commit with your mouths are simply an extension of the bitterness that we have allowed to grow in your heart. We need yank out the root of the problem-bitterness.
Bitterness is a dangerous weed.
The “bitter root” in Hebrews 12:15 is first described in Deuteronomy 29:18: The bitterness spreads, and soon the whole family/our circle of close friends is infected. It is possible that our own bitterness has had a ripple effect and that the poisonous root has burrowed past our own hearts and into the hearts of the people you love.
So what can we do to do away with this weed? Just Trust the Gardener! In John 15:1 , Jesus said, “I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener”. We should search our hearts diligently and be honest to ourselves and to God, He the gardener will uproot all kinds of bitterness in us and give us peace that trancedes human understanding, grant us lips that are always willing to rejoice and eyes that will always see through eyes of Faith when we are faced with difficult times, he will give us hearts that are able to accomodate difficult people and those that will always be quick to forgive without any desire to avenge ourselves. He will replace our bitterness with the fruit of Joy, goodness and love, we will always desire to do good to everyone who does us wrong. He is the Gardener, lets just trust Him!
Let us see that we do not fail to obtain the grace of God out of bitterness.(Heb 12:15)
So help me God!