Happy women’s day!

(Dear daughter this letter was written to you by your mother on a day when the whole world was celebrating women’s day, she was only thinking about the beauty of being a woman and penned down this just for you as she was approaching 25.)

You see dear daughter, 

There is nothing as beautiful as being a woman, am glad of your gift in my life, you are a blessing from above. Your father and I count it pure bliss to have you since the first day you came into our lives, watching you grow has been the sweetest experience i have ever had, we have learned to love you each day as we keep loving each other too. The innocent look in your eyes gave us angelic feelings as we held you in our arms, and now sweetheart, you have grown up into a promising young woman, i can see determination in your eyes, life in your years and desire to grow and be happy.

Dear one, you must have now come across many lectures, talks and shows on what it is to be a woman, during our days, at your age, we had them too, right,left and center, everyone was talking about “empowering” women. So my dear, let me tell you the few things i have learned on what it is to be a woman, my mother was the best role model i had i was growing up and from her i learned a few things that i keep putting into practise:

1. It is good to be born a woman! Oh dear in God’s own perfect design he artistically moulded a beautiful you and us and man marvelled at how amazing that creature was(Gen 2:23). My dear, it is good you were born a woman, glory be to God.

2. Your worth is far much more than jewels. You are precious child.

3. You see my dear, a good woman is hardworking. Prov 31:13-15, “she seeks wool and flax and works with willing hands,she is like the ships of the merchant: brings food from afar, she rises up when it is still dark and provides food for her household and portions for her maidens.” You see my dear, it is a principle that if you do not work, you do not eat. So sweetie, by now you should have met other girls who are looking for “sponsors” and men with big tummies/pockets in their selfish ambitions to run away from work. Dear, there is nothing as sweet as eating and feeding from the work of your hands. Do not become like them, do not be a sluggard as mentioned in proverbs 26:14-15,who never gets out of the bed and even when he dips his hand in a dish, he finds it hard to bring it back to his own mouth.

Detest being lazy my dear, go out, wake up early and get something to do, use your skills and talents and see how God rewards effort. Go to school, learn, grow… Just keep moving girl. God hates ignorance and detests laziness, do not be acquinted to it.

4. Be a woman who is kind/ Uses words wisely.

You see baby, right now you must have met “queens” who are always shouting at touts in matatus, the men in the streets, their parents and neighbours. They are selfish to the people around them and they are too full of themselves to regard the person next door. Proverbs 31:Vs.15-this woman serves even her maids. You see my dear, God will bless you with servants in your household, take that opportunity to be kind and serve them. Vs.20-opens her door to the poor and needy. I pray that since God will bless you with abundance, that you will always remember the needy, share your food with that man who just borrows by the gate, invite him for a cup of tea, he cannot make your house that dirty(ignore such thoughts), you see dear, a beautiful woman has a big heart,for those of her own and others she does not know. And remember sweetie, after you share please do not flaunt with the photos of you and them on facebook, let God do the rewarding lest you start to seek approval/reward from men and end up in pride.

Then my dear, be a woman who speaks to build and not to cause harm. You should train your mouth and heart to learn to say the right thing at the right time, in the right way, for the right reasons. Be a woman of restraint, especially with words. To your children and husband, in proverbs 10:19-the bible tells us that a person of many words easily transgresses, but whoever restrains their lips is prudent.

5. Do not entertain gossip.

By now, you have known how women(men too) love talking about this one person to another in the name of being concerned about them. Whenever you hear confidential information circulating or someone’s name being mentioned in a negative way, the truth is they may not really concerned about solving the problem, they just want to talk about it! slander and gossip is sure evidence that we don’t love our fellow brethren as we should. Holiness means surrendering our tongues to God and keeping our noses out of other people’s affairs, it means if we can’t say something good or encouraging about another person we can shut up, it means when our friends take a person to be a subject of discussion we stop them or not be part of that discussion, it means we don’t try to bring harm into people’s relationships by saying the bad things we know about them. It means genuinely praying for your brother or sister without necessarily having to discuss them. It means when we are friends we don’t convert our friendships into spying missions, where we are spying on to get information but it’s not out of genuine concern for them. The bible admonishes us from gossip, be careful not to become part of it. In 1 Timothy 5:13- At the same time they also learn to be idle, as they go around from house to house; and not merely idle, but also gossips and busybodies, talking about things not proper to mention. (You see dear, idleness brings to us idle talk, do not entertain it)

6. Your beauty. 

Did i tell you how beautiful you are? Right from day one i could not help but look at your beauty and marvel. But i know you must have had your concerns by now, how your face looks like, body shape, height, and so-on. The world must have given you some standards and definitions of beauty that keep a constant debate in your mind, well my dear i had such debates too but this is what i have learned:

That physical beauty is important, we should actually take note of it but there is something that makes us more beautiful, desire to have inner beauty, it is imperishable. In Proverbs 11:22 , a lovely woman who lacks discretion is compared to a ring of gold in a swine’s snout. If a woman is physically attractive, but lacks discretion, it takes away from her beauty and value. Good judgment is needed in many areas of life such as moral issues, money matters, choices, decisions, dealing with others, work, etc. A woman should continue to grow and better her inner self. You can read more on this on an article i wrote: Beauty unveiled:https://mutheusarah.wordpress.com/2016/12/19/beauty-defined/

You must have now had debates too on your choices of dress, in our time they called it “my dress, my choice.”. Sweetheart,  for us who know the Lord, our choices are never entirely ours! When we dress we dress to give glory to our father in heaven not to satisfy our own desires. Dress therefore respectably.

Exercise and eat in ways that strengthen your body. You can make efforts to look nice without spending hours getting ready. A little make-up with a smile goes further than a lot of make-up with a feeling of I’m-still-not-good-enough.

8. Chastity! Hello!

Oh dear, its actually sad that you had to grow up in a society that does not regard sexual purity, a society that believes you cannot get married a virgin, actually incase you are one, you are regarded foolish. Honey, do not allow such talk make you fall. I am glad you love the Lord, with all your heart, body and soul. Honour your body as the temple of the Holyspirit. During our time, we also thought some of those ladies who were moving around with men had happy lives, but not at all, sexual impurity comes with itself guilt, emptiness, regret and suicidal thoughts. Sin against your body makes you vulnerable to many sins. Do not be cheated, those short term fantasies always bring longterm regrets. Every step you make towards immorality is not only a step towards hell but also a step towards an unhappy life here on earth. Sexual sin will haunt you when you are single and when you get married.(But we serve a forgiving God still, He can wash us and make us as white as snow-but we suffer the consequences of this sin), so my dear, FIGHT! just fight to remain pure and God will give you grace to withstand and say no to all temptation. Set boundaries with men, do not feel ashamed to talk about them, i am sure you will emerge a victor in Jesus’ name.

9. Respect your husband.

Beloved, marriage is beautiful and it is designed by God. The order of marriage does not change, the man is ordained to be the leader of your house, you are his support. Be a woman of wisdom, be submissive to your husband. Do him good not harm(prov 31:12).

Do not let that hululaboo that you are a career woman who cannot cook for your husband get into your head. Be educated yes, you can even become a CEO my dear, but when you come back into your house, be a wife and a mother. Those titles should not make you proud. Be careful not to let that bitter weed of pride into your heart. You do not have to carry everything from those ‘women empowerment lecturers’ if they are not in line with the scripture, do not follow them.

10. Be a homemaker:

You seek to make your house a home whether your house is an apartment, an extra room, or a house. You seek to add variety to your daily living, new decorations, new food, etc. Pleasant surprises are more melodic than the-same-old-same-old. Even when you are single, you should take pleasure in homemaking. After all, your home is where you rest and regroup so you are ready to face the world.  I was writing this as i am settling down in a small house, do not disregard small beginnings, you see dear, you can make a home in that small room, you keep your house tidy and inviting, be organised. Organise the small, God will bless you with bigger territories. Be diligent, use your hands to make good clothing for your self, you knit the loose ends and make beautiful linen.

11. Mantain good relationships with people.

Have accountability friends, share and listen to others. You have perhaps by now heard that you should just strive for success, get more money and move up the ladder at all costs, but dear do not step on people on your way up, be nice. Take time and develop genuine friendships with family and other peers, life is not all that material. Relationships have an eternal value. Sometimes later in life we all notice that life is so empty without love and friends.

12. Build a legacy:

Do not defame your name, live wisely, knowing that every action either makes you or destroys your name. We write our biography everyday, especially in our youthful years.

13. Last but the best of them all my dear: BE A FRIEND OF GOD.

There is nothing as beautiful as a woman who loves Jesus, He holds and puts her life in order. Take time everyday to read and study God’s word. Spending time in God’s Word is essential. It is just as important though to share what you learn with others. Speak out the wisdom that God hides in your heart. 

Spend time in prayer! Oh dear, my life is as a result of prayer, every opportunity you get just pray! Pray for yourself, family, friends, the nation, spend time getting close to God in prayer. Prayer shakes the kingdom of darkness, a woman who prays is a victorious woman. You see my dear through prayer God will teach you how to handle all the issues i have mentioned above, so even when you feel the standards are too high, just tell God! He will teach you, when family pressure gets too much, get down on your knees and pray, when you cannot get who to marry, get down and pray, when you lack, just pray! Anytime sweetheart, it is Prayer time. Jesus never disappoints.

So dear i pray that: You will clothe yourself instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God. (1 peter 3:4)

May God walk with you.

With lots of Love,

Mum.

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